1. Look for the signs that your friend is crushing on you. Some of the signs include: your friend always being really quiet around you, or never able to look you in the eye for more than a few seconds. This may indicate that he or she is self-conscious, wondering whether you are noticing the difference in the way he or she relates to you lately.
2. Spend time with him or her. If you feel the same way, try and hang out together more often, so that you communicate your wish to be in his or her company as much as they wish to be in yours.
3. Ask some leading questions. Take your friend to a place where you have some privacy, and ask a harmless question such as "if you went to a dance, who would you ask to come with you?" or "who do you think is your best friend?" If you're lucky, the response will be, you. At that point, you can say something like, "Awww, I feel the same way about you," and offer a hug. If your friend welcomes your embrace, don't break it first - see if your friend wants to let the hug linger. If yes, try the next step. If no, skip ahead to "Just ask."
4. Do something extreme To really tell, you might have to got to extreme measures. If you and a friend are very close, try this at the next sleep-over. When you're changing into your PJ's, just change right in front of her. If she seems uncomfortable, change quickly and skip to the next step (not right away though). If she seems curious or interested, stretch the process. Hide your top and have her search with you. Or if it's summer and very hot outside, just wear your bottoms and no top (a bra is optional). Note her emotions, reactions, and all that jazz. If she's finding reasons to hug you and look, she might just be interested.
5. Just ask. If the hug was inconclusive, and you still aren't sure, just ask. It sounds weird, but it really is best if you want to remain friends. Say something like, "I don't want to weird you out, but I've noticed things changing a little between us lately, and wondered if you could tell me why." If he or she tries to evade the question or change the subject, gently bring him or her back to it, and say, "The truth is, I was wondering if you were thinking of me in a different way, maybe more like you would think of someone to date. Is that possible?" If your friend says, "No way, what, are you crazy? We're friends, that's all!" Then let it go, saying, "Hey, it wouldn't be a problem, but I just wanted to know. It's cool, either way." But watch and wait. If your friend is scared to tell you, or is wrestling with his or her feelings, it may take some time for him or her to come clean about it to you. Be patient and compassionate, and don't pressure your friend.
6. Suggest that she think about you that way. If you have feelings outside of friendship, maybe you're going to have to make the first move. Don't make a big deal of it, but just suggest that your friend think about you in a more romantic way. Something like, "Have you ever thought about going out with... oh, I don't know... me?" Then smile and keep it light. Your friend might blow you off today, but take you up on it tomorrow.
Answered by
Madhurima
, an ibibo Master,
at
12:13 PM on September 12, 2008
