What are the Bengali wedding customs?  

A traditional wedding is arranged by Ghotoks (matchmakers), who are generally friends or relatives of the couple. The matchmakers facilitate the introduction, and also help agree the amount of any settlement.

In Bengali Muslim marriages another settlement to make which is called 'Mahr' or 'Kabin' to be paid by the groom to the bride - which is a religious requirement in Muslim marriages. The amount of the settlement is set so as to avoid too many zeroes in the amount, such as 10001 rather than 10000; the final zeroes being said by some to signify bad luck.

Bengali weddings are traditionally in four parts: the bride's Gaye Holud, the groom's Gaye Holud, the Beeye and the Bou Bhaat. These often take place on separate days. The first event in a wedding is an informal one: the groom presents the bride with a ring marking the "engagement" which is gaining popularity. This can sometimes be considered as Ashirwaad.

There can be subtle differences in Bangali Hindu marriages in Bangladesh and West Bengal. The rituals sometimes differ. Even in West Bengal people who moved from Bangladesh during pre-independence time still follows the tradition that is followed in Bangladesh today.

A Bengali Hindu Marriage can be divided into the following parts:

* Pre-wedding Rituals: Adan Pradan, Patri Patra, Ashirvad, Aai Budo Bhaat, Vridhi, Dodhi Mangal, Holud Kota, Adhibas Tatva, Kubi Patta, Snan, Sankha Porano

* Wedding Rituals: Bor Boron, Potto Bastra, Saat Paak, Mala Badal, Subho Drishti, Sampradan, Yagna, Saat Pak (couple), Anjali, Sindur Daan and Ghomta

* Post-Wedding Rituals: Bashar Ghar, Bashi Biye, Bidaye, Bou Boron, Kaal Ratri, Bou Bhaat, Phool Sajja, Dira Gaman
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The Gaye Holud ("yellowing the body") is in preparation for the Beeya.

For the bride's Gaye Holud, the groom's family - except the groom himself - go in procession to the bride's home. They carry with them the bride's wedding outfit, wedding decoration including turmeric paste and henna, sweetmeats and gifts. They also take two large fishes decorated as a groom and bride. There are local variations on this tradition, such as the number of fishes, the party responsible for cooking the fish(es) and time the fish is taken to the groom's family.

The procession traditionally centers on the (younger) female relative and friends of bride, and they are traditionally all in matching clothes, mostly orange in colour.

Now-a-days another trend is pretty common - that is to arrange two different dress codes for female and male attendants from two sides. For example, in Bride's Gaye Holud female relatives of bride's side wears Block Shari and those from the groom's side wears Mirpuri Katan Shari. In the same event, male relatives from bride's side wears hand-crafted punjabi while those attending from the groom's side wears block fotua.

The bride is seated on a dais, and the henna is used to decorate the bride's hands and feet with elaborate abstract designs. The turmeric paste is applied by the bride's friends to her body. This is said to soften the skin, but also colours her with the distinctive yellow hue that gives its name to this ceremony.

The sweets are then fed to the bride by all involved, piece by piece. There is, of course, a feast for the guests. The groom's Gaye Holud comes next, and has the same form as the bridal ceremony.
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The actual wedding ceremony "Beeya" follows the Gaye Holud ceremonies. The wedding ceremony is arranged by the bride's family. On the day, the younger members of the bride's family barricade the entrance to the venue, and demands sort of admission charge from the groom in return for allowing him to enter. This is however done in fun, and is not an integral part of the wedding. There is a bargaining between groom and bride's family members on the amount of money of the admission. There is t

Answered by Point at 8:54 AM on November 11, 2008

The Aashirwad ceremony, performed a couple of days before the wedding, marks the beginning of the festivities. Literally translated, Aashirwad means 'Blessings,' wherein the bride to be is blessed by the elders of the boy's family. The groom goes to the house of the bride. He is anointed with a sandalwood tilak and offered gifts including a gold ring or chainalong with some dhaan (rice husk signifying plenitude) and darba grass (symbolising that he will treat the bride with tenderness). As in all Hindu weddings, mishti (sweets) are then offered.
Ai Buddo Bhaat
The Ai Buddho Bhaat takes place in the bride's home the night before the wedding. This last supper in her home is generally grand.
The wedding day begins at 4.00 am for the bride. She bathes and dresses in a white sari with a red border (white symbolising purity and chastity, and red, fertility). She wears all her jewellery and is fed a mixture of puffed rice, curd and sweets before dawn. After daybreak, she is not allowed to eat any cereal. Sweets, water or sharbat is all she can have. The men folk of the girl's family - her father, uncles and brothers, perform a vridhi ceremony mid morning, through which the girl is required to sit. They offer water to the souls of their ancestors to invoke their blessings.
Haldi Uptan
In this haldi ceremony, the bride is made to sit in the midst of four plantain trees (considered auspicious by the Bengalis) kept at four corners of the room.She is then anointed with turmeric and mustard oil paste.
Then comes the Totto ceremony, which consists of gifts for the bride. A whole raw fish is sent for the bride along with other sweets, turmeric, saris and pumpkins.
Shakha Paula
While Vedic chants are said by the purohit (priest), seven married women adorn the bride's hands with the traditional bangles made of shankha (shell) and paula (coral). The shell is supposed to mirror the qualities of the moon, thereby implying that the girl remains serene and calm. The coral is supposed to be beneficial for health.
When the bride and groom arrive at the wedding, they meet each other with a ritual exchange of garlands. Their hands are then joined with a sacred thread and the couple is blessed in the Sampradan ceremony. In the Shubhodrishti that follows, the couple is allowed to sneak a peak at each other, from under a sheet.
The couple is first ritually seated on special piris (stools) in front of the Agni(sacred fire) in the Yagya ceremony. This is followed by the Saat Pheras. The traditional grinding stone on which masalas are ground, is placed upside down. Near this, seven circular alpanas (rangolis) are drawn, and one paan is placed on each one of them. The girl stands in front and as she takes her first step on the stone, the boy gently nudges her left foot with his right. She then places her foot on the first alpana. These seven rounds are known as Saat Pheras, signifying the sanctity and solemnity of marriage.
Then comes the Anjali. Although many Hindu weddings involve fire offerings, Anjali is specific to Bengali weddings. The groom takes the bride's palms in his and the girl's brother fills them with Khoi (popped rice) that is offered to the fire here.
A traditional Bengali wedding is completed with the Sindoor Daan. The bride covers her head with a new sari offered by the groom. He dips a ring into sindoor and traces a line of it from between the girl's eyebrows through the parting in her hair. Now the couple is considered officially married.
This is followed by a lavish wedding feast. Of course, the more varieties of fish you serve, the better! There a variety of other non-vegetarian dishes and sweets as well.
The bride enters the house, first stepping on an ornate stool, which will be hers for life, and then she dips her feet in alta(red colour) and milk. She is then presented with the traditional red and white ivory bangles, which are symbols of a married woman, along with a metal ban

Answered by Tingtong at 8:48 AM on November 11, 2008