“Experience tells you what to do; confidence allows you to do it.”–Stan Smith
Everybody could do with a confidence boost sometimes, so to start with, here are a few basic tips...
1) How to Feel Good When You Need to
Because self confidence and feeling good has a major 'hormonal' element, you can change the way you feel by re-living good times. If you can remember a time you felt really self confident, then excellent - use that! If not, then use a time you felt contented or happy. You could use a photo taken at such a time to remind you. This is just a start but an important one; taking deliberate control of your thoughts and emotions will have a huge impact on your self confidence and other areas of your life.
2) Beating Self Consciousness
Too much self consciousness is the No.1 enemy of self confidence. The trick is keeping your attention off yourself when you need to. Here's how...
3) Watch Out for Undue Criticism - Especially Your Own!
Have you noticed that people will speak to themselves in a way they would never speak to others? You know the sort of thing - you break a glass and it's "You stupid idiot. You can't do anything right can you?"
Criticism that leaves the receiver feeling upset or depressed is rarely useful.
Challenging your own assumptions about yourself and other people can really help build self confidence. Here's a few to get you started:
Those confident-looking people have bad moments too - you just don't get to hear about them!
If you feel under-confident, it doesn't mean other people can tell. They're often too caught up with their 'own stuff' to notice!
If you catch yourself saying things to yourself like "I'm no good at anything" then rest assured, you're wrong about that. Everyone can compose a sentence, get successfully to the store, eat without choking and do a million other things. Negative thinking can make things seem hopeless when they rarely are.
Don't let yourself make sweeping statements about yourself - in the long run it is this sort of thing that can really damage your self image. If this happens, say to yourself calmly and gently, "Hold on a minute, that's not true". If you can come up with some evidence that disproves the sweeping statement, then even better. It may take a bit of effort at first, but the impact on your level of self confidence is huge.
Building self esteem is not just about thinking good of yourself, it's about not thinking bad for no reason!
Just because you have felt bad about yourself in the past doesn't mean you're always going to feel that way. I have seen hundreds of people surprise themselves once they have learned exactly how to build confidence in themselves in such a way that it stays built!
The important thing is to get away from thinking "Why did that happen?" or "Why do I feel this way?" and instead move towards "How would I like to feel?", "In what situations do I feel confident?" or "What do I need to learn in order to have better self confidence in this situation?"
This change in thinking is so important that we devote quite a bit of time to it on the Self Confidence Trainer, our premium package for teaching the skills of self confidence.
Persevere and don't expect everything at once. Really learn how to develop your self confidence by following the tips above and in the Free Self Confidence Course which we are offering you, and notice the small differences as they happen. Building high self confidence is a wonderful thing, and it's much easier than you'd imagine.
source /www.trans4mind.co
Answered by
Deepthi
, an ibibo Specialist,
at
10:22 AM on October 01, 2008
