If you love her then make sure that even she had the same feeling for you. If she does not have any such feeling for you then create the feeling about you in her mind by way of your good behaviour, helpful nature, by creating the faith and confidence about you in her mind so that she will start taking interest in you and start loving. Otherwise you have no right to feel jealous if she talk or spend time with other guy

Answered by Shrihari , an ibibo Master, at 6:49 PM on October 06, 2008

This is one aspect I hate to refer to. Possessiveness in love is mainly the result of a weak mind and heart. Jealousy and expectations are just sides of the same coin. Never believe that the other person wishes to live a life as you desire. That is bondage, not freedom.

In case she feels attached to the person she prefers to, it does not mean she is in love. And if she is in love, you can't attempt to get her back. Feel free to think in a calm mind ... a lover is best if she is also for you. Why 'claim' her as an object? to let her mingle freely and still love you is a unique feeling ... try to achieve that. In case she was not yours, she never was ... and move on in case you find so.

Your life should not be dependent on who she is ... and you should not feel restricted to force her to be yours. That's the key.

Answered by Idle Mind , an ibibo Master, at 1:05 PM on October 03, 2008

Possessiveness grows from fear of losing a thing or losing someone. It is another meaning of jealousy. It is harmful in friendship. The devastating effects of jealousy are twofold: first, jealousy ruins good communication between people, causing a multitude of unfounded arguments and fights; secondly, jealousy conveys some of the most unattractive qualities in a jealous person such as lack of confidence and insecurity which are some of the biggest turn offs for both men and women.

Get rid of this fear and you'll surely overcome your possessive nature.

1. Know yourself. The first and the most important step in dealing with jealousy is, like with many other issues is recognizing that you have a problem. Share your problems with others.
2. Relationship. Be a part of your relationship.As in your things, share your friends with other people.
3. Do not try to possess your friends as if they only belong to you. They somehow belong to you, but they also need spaces to grow and inter-act with other people.
It is difficult to overcome at first but it will become easy with the passage of time and self-determination.
As you are successfully fighting possessiveness or jealousy, you will start experiencing tremendous freedom - the freedom to enjoy your love life without the taxing pain of jealousy and insecurity and the pleasure of giving your partner a better, wiser, stronger, and a happier you!

Answered by Ramcharan , an ibibo Master, at 10:21 PM on October 01, 2008

I feel as you are treating her as a piece of furniture which you own.your love does not sound like a healthy love it sounds sick and complexed.Have confidence in yourself that there is no one as good as you for her and work towards it.look smashing.be talented and be try to be the best you can,and you will find that people are being attracted towards you like bees to honey.including her.You cannot cling to love ,it is said that "if you love someone set it free ,it will come back if it is yours ,otherwise it was never meant to be".Love cannot be like a cage,it needs a healthy space to breathe and grow and finally blossom.If you try to smother her by being too possessive she will run away from you .Ther has to be the freedom to love not a compulsion to suit a persons fears and jealousies.So let it go and be happy in loving her ,I am sure she will reciprocate to a healthy relationship.

Answered by vinita , an ibibo Citizen, at 12:20 PM on September 30, 2008

You can politely confide your fears and pocessiveness to your girlfriend and ask her to maintain a healthy distance from guy friends just like U may be doing with your gal friends.

Answered by Rajeev , an ibibo Advisor, at 5:34 PM on September 29, 2008

look dear..faith is the sole basis of any relation... if u can talk to any girl then y can't c??? its very gud th8 u knw ur flaw so make ur gf aware of this so th8 if u get angry sometyms with her bcoz of this reason she'll understand u.... bt still u shud try to understand th8 every1 has there personal lyf n are independent to do what they want??? u shud learn to give space to others... when u find her talking to other boys.. go there b a part of their talk... n even if such thoughts comes into ur mind.. jst say th8 chill 'gaurav he is jst her frnd'... have faith in her... n believe me u'll never loose her...

Answered by shubham , an ibibo Citizen, at 3:35 PM on September 29, 2008

Well gaurav,I can understand your problem.I wnt to tell u 2 believe in her.your possesiveness shows that you love her most.
But guarav,every human needs his/her space.As you hang out wid your friends ,she also like to hang out with her friends.But you should make your mind clear that she likes them but she loves you.
If you have your female friends ,just behave normal with them but don't keep yourself @ one girl.
just chill out but show how much you love her by caring,proper understanding,believing her.
Nobody wants loose their love but some do.Give her SPACE else she might feel suffocated.
bye

Answered by Ashish Verma , an ibibo Citizen, at 12:23 PM on September 29, 2008

my friend you only insecure feel against your girlfriend because love you so much to girlfriend and don't want to losse her company . first thing you have do is be positive because your girlfriend also love you so much and she know how much you love him she always with you but only she want freedom she want to make good friend it 's not means that she dump you .
second thing is think abouted from your girlfriend point of view again i like to tell you that she like freedom and that why she make new friend ,friend circle only friends not life partners.
third believe in your self and your relationship. relationship depend on trust and respect if you loose the trust it break your relationship permenently.

Answered by Ravindra M , an ibibo Citizen, at 11:22 AM on September 29, 2008

My dear Gaurav, please understand you cannot hold the wind in your hand!
We do sometimes get possessive and is acceptable. But too much of anything is poison! You must understand that if the lady is your gf today, its because she chose to be, and possibly she chose you over all her male friends who may have given her attention.
There is an old adage that says if you love someone set them free, if it comes back, its yours, if it doesn't it never was. I understand your love and passion but really she wont love you the more for trying to own her. Give her breathing space and she would appreciate your faith and liberality. When the monster of jealousy attacks you, count till 10 and be polite to her male friends, dont question her loyalty ever. You can never force loyalty, you win it! Win it with love and faith. Trust her, she loves you. And so there is really no need to be jealous. :)

Answered by Myth Maker , an ibibo Citizen, at 6:42 AM on September 29, 2008

Let me tell u one thing...Possesiveness is not a habit, it is born within yourself..u cant overcome or change it...Even if you try to act as though you are not possesive then its wrong...because your face expressions at that time will tell the truth..if u are more possesvice with your g/f then be careful u will lose her....im telling you my experience.

Answered by Roopesh S , an ibibo Citizen, at 12:52 AM on September 29, 2008