How to Make Friends
There's a certain beauty in being a lone wolf (people with no friends). You have more time to do things you want to do, like talk to yourself, play solitaire, write poetry, or try to carry that couch into your new apartment all by yourself. If that's not your bag, though, there are literally billions of potential friends in the world. What's more, many of these people want to make friends just as much as you do. So just follow these steps to meet new people and form strong, lasting friendships.
[edit] Steps
1. Spend more time around people. If you want to make friends, you first need to put yourself out there somehow. Friends don't come knocking on your door while you sit at home watching TV. If the people you're already around (e.g. at work or school) aren't friend material for whatever reasons, it's not the end of the world.
* Join a club with people who have common interests. You don't necessarily have to have a lot of common interests with people in order to make friends with them--in fact, some of the most rewarding friendships are between two people who don't have much in common at all--but if you have something in common with people, it can make it a lot easier to start a conversation and plan activities together.
* Join a sports team. A common misconception about this is that you have to be really good at playing a particular sport in order to make friends with others on the team, but not all teams are so competitive. As long as you enjoy the sport and support your teammates, joining a local team with a laid-back attitude could be a great way to make new friends.
* Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way for people of all ages to meet others. By working together you build bonds with people, and you might meet others who have a passion for changing things the way you do--a common cause.
* Get online. In general, the Internet is a great place to make friends, but... it's also easy to invest a lot of time online with someone you think is a friend, and then you never meet them because of time and distance. Expect to have to sift through a lot of people online before you find the one or two great friends, the kind who will be there for you when you really need them. The Internet can also help you find other people around the world who share your interests even if you live in an isolated place.
2. Talk to people. You can join a club, go to school, or go to church, and you still won't make friends if you don't actually talk to people. By the same token, you don't have to be involved with an organization to talk to people, and any time you talk to someone, you have a chance at making a lasting friend. You can talk to anybody: the clerk at the video store, the person sitting next to you on the bus, or the person in front of you on the lunch line. Don't be picky. Most conversations will be a dead-end of sorts, in that you may never talk to that person again or you'll just remain acquaintances, but once in a while you'll actually make a friend.
* Make eye contact and smile. If you have an unfriendly countenance, people are less likely to be receptive to your friendship. Look approachable.
* Start a conversation. There are several ways to do this; a comment about your immediate environment (the weather is a classic: "At least it's not raining like last week!"), a request for help ("Can you help me carry a few boxes, if you have a minute?" or "Can you help me decide which one of these is a better gift for my mom?") or a compliment ("That's a nice car" or "I love your shoes"). Follow up immediately with a related question: Do you like warm weather? What kinds of gifts do you normally buy for your mom? Where did you get shoes like that?
* Make small talk. Keep the conversation light and cheery. Even if you're complaining about something, make sure it's something you're both dissatisfied with, a
Answered by
KHURSHEED
at
6:37 PM on July 07, 2008