well manoj A lot of men and/or their partners wish they were able to prolong their sexual encounters. Lack of ejaculatory control might, in fact, be the number one sexual complaint among men under the age of 50. The details of the complaint vary greatly though. Concerns range from the man who will ejaculate within seconds, at the first touch or just prior to penetration, to the man who is able to receive oral and manual stimulation without ejaculating, but with intercourse will orgasm within a minute. There are men who report being quick to ejaculate from their very first sexual encounter and remain so. There are men who report having been quick during early sexual encounters but somehow gained control until suddenly losing control again. Then there are men who seem never ever to have been bothered by an untimely ejaculation. Obviously there is not just one type of ejaculatory concern.
"Premature" or "rapid" ejaculation is also relative to the man and/or his partner's expectations. There are men who are able to thrust for 5 minutes before ejaculating and complain because they had hoped to last another 25 minutes. There are men who last 20 minutes but their partners complain that they did not wait for her -- or worse yet, draw comparisons with her last lover who had set a record for marathon thrusting. Consider another couple who plays for an hour after a very romantic evening. In the course of love play the man manually and then orally stimulates his partner who, in response, has three orgasms. He then mounts, thrusting hard and deep, and ejaculates in about 45 seconds. This couple then holds each other in the afterglow of their intimate exchange, telling each other how wonderful the lovemaking had been. Does this man have a problem? Not if both are happy with the encounter. What if he moves on to another relationship and the next woman is not comfortable receiving oral stimulation to orgasm and expects 10 minutes of coital thrusting! These examples make it clear that a man's expectations and/or the expectations of his partner(s) have something to do with his labeling himself as having a problem.
In the past, premature ejaculation was defined by the percent of times the man ejaculates during intercourse before his partner does. There is, however, a major problem with defining a man's ejaculatory control in terms of his partner's orgasmic frequency during intercourse. It has been clearly demonstrated that the majority of women (perhaps around 65%) are unable to orgasm with the stimulation of intercourse alone... never could and probably never will. For most women the vagina is significantly less sensitive than the clitoris, which is not always stimulated in most coital positions. A fair number of the roughly 35% of women who can make it during intercourse do so by combining clitoral stimulation with what they are experiencing vaginally. It is fortunate that some positions that work best for the woman are the same in which a man might exercise better control of his ejaculatory process.You might now ask, "What is normal or typical?" Let's first, however, consider the question, "What is natural?" In nature the purpose of sex is procreation, and this process is accomplished by the deposit of sperm deep in the vagina, independent of the time it takes to do so (or, for that matter, the partner's satisfaction). Our primate cousins, the apes, chimps and monkey, ejaculated in seconds.
As human beings, however, sex is more often for recreation, typically with great pains being taken to prevent pregnancy. Sex for humans is an expression of love, a sharing of intimacy, a form of communication, and often we feel it is an expression of our manhood or womanhood. We have a certain investment in being good at it! However, it appears natural for a man to move toward vaginal intercourse, thrust upon penetration, and ejaculate quickly.
This brings us to the question, then,
Answered by
Sanjay
, an ibibo Guru,
at
4:35 PM on July 05, 2008
