RAPID EJACULATION :


Rapid Ejaculation (Premature Ejaculation) is quite a common problem for couples. This is when the male partner has a pattern of sudden and unpredictable ejaculation often after a very short time of arousal.

How common is this?

Estimates range from 5 million men in America to 25 million. There is not solid consensus because the definition of Rapid Ejaculation varies. An example of the confusion is “What if someone wants to last an hour and only makes it 14 minutes?” Is that Rapid Ejaculation? Unrealistic expectations only serve to further solidify a pattern of rapid ejaculation.

The definition that makes sense to me is ejaculation before the man or his partner wants it. In other words, the time from arousal to ejaculation isn’t the defining factor.

What this sex looks like :

• Though wanting to have sex, and trying very hard to “last”, a man repeatedly ejaculates too quickly (before he or his partner are ready).

• Some men can have non-intercourse sex play for a long time, and yet upon penetration have ejaculation before he or his partner are ready.

• In the later stages of this condition, the man may experience a secondary kind of erection dysfunction where his erections become undependable. Other men and their partners avoid having sex at all due to rapid ejaculation.

• The ejaculation usually happens before full body arousal. Note: Often men and their partners think that it is because they are “too” aroused, but the opposite is usually true. They are under-aroused and overly sexually anxious.

• After ejaculation occurs, stimulation is over for the female too. The couple abruptly ends the encounter.

• Rapid Ejaculation is a secret. Couples often wait for 7-10 years after the problem becomes severe to seek help. It is not uncommon for a woman asking for help for low libido to have a partner with consistent Rapid Ejaculation.

• After a clear pattern has developed most sexual encounters end in shame, anger, and frustration for both patterns. The male partner may try to distract himself which causes him to tune out from the sexual experience. A common complaint from women is that their partner repeatedly apologizes after a rapid ejaculation event. It is not uncommon for the female partner to be angry and feel that her partner is selfish.

Some possible causes :

• Very young men, who have little sexual experience
• Some medications cause this trigger response
• Sexual Anxiety is the biggest culprit

What to do about it, some ideas of how to get rid of the problem :

• From time to time all men experience ejaculation before full arousal. Don’t end the lovemaking abruptly, continue to make love to your partner. There are numerous ways to continue to stimulate your partner. A soft penis can still provide pleasure! “Everybody gets a climax!” This change alone can do a lot to overcome the pattern.

• Begin to allow yourself (or your partner) to create full body arousal. Don’t just focus on the genitals. Open your eyes and connect and try to understand what your partner is experiencing.

• Don’t use distraction techniques of any kind. Be there in the moment with your partner.

• Talk to your partner, make and encourage sounds like heavy breathing and moaning to express pleasure.

• If you are going to climax, enjoy it to the hilt, no matter how quickly it comes!

• Pay attention to how wonderful your body feels, let yourself enter arousal.

• Don’t try to “last longer”, instead allow yourself to feel wonderful.

• Seek help for you and your partner from a skilled marital counselor or sex therapist.

Answered by Yogeshwar , an ibibo Specialist, at 4:07 PM on September 15, 2008