In order to cure an addiction, you've got to be willing to do things that may seem drastic or outrageous but not harmful to yourself or others.
Several years ago, I learned about a weight loss counsellor who conducted very successful group weight loss programs for people who had failed miserably many times before. One strategy this counsellor used was both drastic and outrageous. She had every member of the group make a list of the three worst, most despicable, most morally bankrupt organizations they knew of. She then made each member of the group promise to donate $25 to one of the organizations on their list for every week that they failed to lose at least one pound. This strategy worked like a charm. But on their own, most members of the group would never have considered self-imposing such a powerful motivator.
So if you have a history of failing to make any type of desired behavior change, all this may mean is that you weren't willing to do what is necessary. All addictions (and other dysfunctional behaviors) can ultimately be cured. It's just a matter of figuring out what specific actions will work (and will not cause you or others harm) and then executing those actions despite any thoughts or feelings you might have to the contrary.
Failing to Anticipate and Deal With Relapses
No matter how much initial success you have in eliminating an addiction, unintended relapses are just around the corner. Something unexpected might happen in your life or you might otherwise succumb to a moment of weakness.
Good addiction treatment plans anticipate that such relapses commonly occur and prepare individuals to deal with them successfully.
One thing they emphasize is that "relapse" is not synonymous with "failure." A relapse does not mean that you have failed in your efforts to cure yourself of an addiction. If you stay away from cigarettes for 3 months and then smoke again for two days in a row, you can view this as a "failure" if you want, or you can focus on the fact that of the last 92 days, you successfully abstained for 97% of them. That's pretty good.
The trick is to keep 2 days from becoming 5 days, or 5 days from becoming 10 days, etc. Here you will need a game plan to keep an occasional relapse from triggering a return to the addiction.
Before you begin to work on curing your addiction, decide in advance what you will do once you are successful and suffer a minor relapse. Have an outrageous game plan in mind that you hope you will never need to use, but that you are committed to execute if the need ever arises. Then go into this "emergency mode" within 1-2 days of suffering a minor relapse.
Include in your emergency game plan at least three powerful people you can call to give you strong support. Have several self-imposed consequences in mind, and apply them to yourself quickly before things get seriously out of hand. If you jump on these relapses quickly and effectively, and if you don't beat yourself up for such minor regressions, you should be able to reestablish your cure plan.
Answered by
Lalit
, an ibibo Specialist,
at
11:40 AM on October 09, 2007
